12 weeks

there has been much on my mind lately, and trust has been the prevailing theme. i took my first trip to visit my midwife last week, expecting to be able to hear baby's heartbeat for the first time. imagine my disappointment when she couldn't find it. quickly my disappointment dissolved into worry. is everything alright? hadn't my friends heard their baby's heartbeat at 11 weeks? i was heartbroken. my midwife quickly attributed her inability to find that little beat to the fact that i was only 11 weeks. and blessed with a long torso! after doing some of my own research, and with the reassuring words of friends, i learned that i have nothing to worry about. most women are able to hear the baby's heartbeat between 13 and 15 weeks. but i learned an important lesson in all of this: God is in control. this is God's baby that has been in trusted to my care for these 40 weeks. my job is do to the best i can- exercising, eating right, getting enough sleep- and trust that God is doing the rest. this baby is in God's hands for the rest of his or her life. and trusting only becomes a bigger job once this baby is born...

on a separate, but still related note, i found out recently that one of the women i love most in my life, my pastor's wife, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. this has come as an enormous shock to her family and those who love her. again, we are all trusting God to care for lisa in the coming weeks and months.

trust. its a big thing for little ol' me....